Good news everyone: I am still alive!
It’s a foggy and cold start to what is unofficially called a ‘hump day’ and dreading how the next hour of my life may unfold. Of course it means I am running through possible scenarios, which I categorise as high, medium or low in likelihood.
It starts with trying to predict how long I will have to endure waiting amongst actually sick people in the busy waiting room, leads my thoughts to what wonderful new variants of the common cold I could pick up and ends with total confusion as to what I should actually say to my GP to get the ball rolling. After all, neuro-typicals don’t like a blunt approach and while he is my GP he is also a human being, so I aim to be considerate.
What makes you happy? Do you know? Do you really ever know what makes you happy?
My mind right now tells me there is no happiness to be found and everything makes me upset. It is hard to motivate myself to feel happy or “live in the moment”. The jeux de vivre, as the French call it, I used to have is now misplaced – like that one glove of your favourite pair, just as you are about to head out into a cold day.
It is a beautiful start to the day and my girl friend confirms this and wishes me a good morning too, after I share that pretty photo of my sun rise with her as she begins her morning routine.